An X-istential Crisis

INT: 

Professor Xavier's School For the Gifted. We find the X-Men gathered in a parlor discussing the latest battle scars and victories. Rogue has been telling everyone about her latest triumph over Mystique. Cyclops sits brooding and it's clear that something is weighing on his mind. He stands to speak:

Cyclops: 

"Guys, there's something I've been pondering for awhile. If you don't mind, while Professor Xavier is napping I'd like to get your opinion on the issue."

Storm: 

"Speak on Cyclops, you have our attention."

Cyclops: 

"The thing is our name has been bothering me lately."

Wolverine: 

"You want we should start calling you One-Eye?"

Cyclops: 

[Flips Wolverine off] 

"Not my name Logan, the team name."

Jean: 

"You don't like being an X-Man?"

Cyclops: 

"That's just it, why are we the X-Men?"

Storm: 

"Because we fly under the banner of Professor Xavier."

Cyclops: 

"Exactly. But meanwhile who are the ones doing all the actual work? Who are the ones risking their lives each day? Us. Meanwhile Mr. sit in my chair and act all helpless does nothing all day."

Rogue: 

"You know that's true. The other day I asked the Professor to rinse out his tea cup. I don't remember him saying anything but a minute later I was drying out his now clean cup. I think I might have been violated by him."

Wolverine: 

"Does that to me all the time. I even caught him eating my salami one day. Looked up at me like 'what are you gonna do about it?' I don't think he even likes salami."

Cyclops: 

"All the more reason that we should consider changing our name. We should go with something that represents the team as a whole."

Nightcrawler: 

"I like The Fighting Irish."

Cyclops: 

"That one's already taken by Notre Dame."

Nightcrawler: 

"I still like it."

Cyclops: 

"I was thinking of something more along the lines of The Stingrays or The Righteous Justice Club."

Nightcrawler: 

"How about WalMart?"

Cyclops: 

"Okay, you're just looking at a the newspaper. You're disqualified."

Nightcrawler: 

"Ooh, sale on bras..."

Kitty Pryde: 

"How about The Marshmallow Bandits?"

Cyclops: 

"No, Kitty, that hardly strikes fear into evil's heart. Jean, do you have any ideas?"

Jean: 

"...Uh, how about The X-Men. Oh, sorry, I panicked."

Cyclops: 

"Storm?"

Storm: 

"I shall ask Mother Earth. Whooosh!"

Wolverine: 

"Stop whooshing in my ear."

It is at this moment that Professor Xavier having sensed something was amiss, has wandered in to listen.

Xavier: 

"What are you all so animated over this evening?

Cyclops: 

"We've been thinking about changing our name to something better represents us."

Xavier: 

"Far be it from me to hold you back on changing your name. What do you think Wolverine?"

Wolverine: 

[A funny look is on his face like he's in a trance] 

"I think we should call ourselves The X-Men, but just not have the X stand for Xavier. Then we won't have to get new luggage or anything."

The others in the room now wear a similar dazed expression are agreeing profusely with Logan. 

Xavier: 

"Then it's settled. What shall we do now team?"

Wolverine: 

"I think I'm going to get you some of my hidden salami."

Rogue: 

"I'll get you some tea, as soon as I wash up the dishes."

The others voice similar aspirations.

Xavier: 

"Well, that sounds lovely everyone, thank you.