Old Family Recipes: Stewed Godzilla

Like most people in the world, you cheered when Godzilla was finally brought down. I'm sure you were even more joyful when it was announced everyone in the world who wanted some, would get a chunk of the absurdly big reptile. But of course, the question is, how does one cook Gojira to succulent perfection? Well, I've got just the recipe to warm you up on a cold winter's eve.


What you'll need:

(4-6) lbs of the Kaiju (depending on the size of the crowd you're feeding)
(1/4) cup Flour
(2) tbsp Dried Basil
(1) tbsp Dried Parsley
(4) Bay leaves
(2) lbs red potatoes pealed and diced
(6) carrots pealed & chopped
(1) Onion chopped
(3) stalks of celery chopped
(1) cup beef broth
(3) tablespoons olive oil
(8) cloves of garlic minced
Salt & Pepper to taste
(1) whacking huge dutch oven


Prep work:

Cleaning Godzilla can seem like a monster task. The trick is to cover it in salt for an hour before washing it off under running water. If you get a chunk with a scale, don't worry about trying to separate the meat from it. Chop up what you can of the beast and boil the rest (with scale) in the same pot. Once it's cooked long enough the scale can easily be removed.

If you get some organ meat in your pack, I advise caution. For a long time the Chinese and Japanese have valued Kaiju Gallbladder in their holistic medicine. To eat it though is inadvisable as the meat is far too bitter and can be poisonous as well. It is my experience that the liver is the only really edible organ. However our recipe does not call for that, so if you do get liver, I suggest saving it for a later date.


Cooking:

Mix the dried spices and flour together in a large bowl. Shake up the meat in the flour mix, a little at a time to properly coat. Once covered, lightly fry in oil in a large pan. The flour will help to thicken the stew later on. When finished, place the meat on mesh rack and let the oil drain off.

Next, in your dutch oven, add the broth, vegetables, meat, and fill to about 3/4 of the way with water. I recommend a fair amount of salt as the bear meat will just eat it up. Peppercorns are also nice to add. Gives your lizard a little fire in his bite.

All you have to do now is throw that baby in a 300 degree oven, with the lid on, for 4-5 hours.

That may seem like a long cooking time, but you're talking a beast that's been around for decades. There's a lot of lean muscle to break down.


To Serve:

I suggest serving it with some day old, crusty French bread and butter. As for wine, something like a Pinot noir to stand up to the flavor. That's it, you and your family are now ready to enjoy your kaiju.

Happy eating, and good health.