Weekend Movie Discussion: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Movie 43, Parker

"What's that you say, you like movies? Well, then you've come to the right place." ~ Jack Warner

Okay, I made that quote up, but you can't tell me 100% that he never said that.

This is going to be an interesting weekend. 3 Movies, each with their own particular gravitas positives Fritos possibilities and baggage. Let's start with Movie 43 which features everyone under the sun in it. Seriously, there's so many random names in it, they probably started pulling people off the street to throw in it -heck, I might be in it. Aside from star studded, it'll be wrapped around 12 story lines that intertwine someway or another. On the negative side, the ads haven't looked particularly great. But with 12 directors and a handful of screenwriters chances are it'll be a hit and miss feature. With some good, and some (probably a lot) bad. Seems a good one to check out whenever it hits redbox. Most likely in a month.

Next up, Hansel und Gretel: Witch Hunters, which just seems completely left field of what the world wanted. I suppose the idea is to capitalize on the fairy tale trend that's been popular as of late. Frankly I'd rather have Grimm the movie, but that's me. Now I suppose it could be the type of film that's self aware of it being bad, though I somehow doubt it. I'm just trying to figure where it'll fit on a scale of Van Helsing to The Brothers Grimm. Not that the latter was a good movie, just that it was that much better than the former. 

You know what? This is probably infinitely better then the movie will be:

Finally we have Parker, which on the surface may seem like another generic Jason Statham film. But for me that's the point. I understand why Statham has done all those generic films. It's becuase they were always meant to be Parker. It's the character he really is made for. For those who don't know, Parker is a character created by Richard Stark (Donald E. Westlake's dark crime pseudonym). The character has appeared in in different incarnations in film before. There's the often heralded (though I found boring) Point Blank, starring Lee Marvin. Then there was the sort of remake, Payback, starring Mel Gibson. Statham however is born to this role. It's pulp violence at it's finest. Whether or not the film can deliver on the source material... Well that's neither here nor there. You can only get the two parties to a chapel, you can't make them wed.

So how about you, what are your plans this weekend? Going to visit a witch in a forest? Remember to take plenty of bread crumbs.