New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each
Titanic 3D - It's unbelievable how little I actually care.
American Reunion - This bed is on fire with gasoline...
Oh sure, I could pretend like there are other movies out this week. There's a 3D documentary on air racing out; a handful of minor interest limited releases swimming around the theatrical pond. But really it's about American Reunion. Hunger Games last week slapped Wrath of the Titans in the face like it was its... Finish that sentence however you see fit. I'm going with orange myself. So clearly, it's still got enough steam going to be a top movie. Reunion will share Hunger Games audience, but with an R rating, it's not really competing. Titanic 3D is a what it is. Seems completely unnecessary, but then, I've felt that about James Cameron as a person for years. Undoubtedly it will be felt. How big? Hard to say. I suppose there's a contingent of people out there who would like to revisit Leonardo DiCaprio on the big screen, before the days of looking like someone injected helium into his frontal lobes.
As far as American Reunion. What's there to say really? Each film of the original trilogy was essentially the same movie repackaged with different settings. Either you're a fan and your going or it was never your cup of tea, and you're not. This really is a film that anyone who goes to see it, knows what they're getting ahead of time.
I'll give you odds though that at some point in the film, probably towards the end when everything is golden between Jim and Michelle, that there's a nod to the first film by way of Jim grabbing an apple pie and heading to the bedroom with Michelle. Sly smiles and winks optional.
So with Easter on the way, I leave you with this thought: Don't go see Titanic 3D. The madness has to stop somewhere. Go watch Hunger Games. Yes, I know you've seen it, but how many times have you seen Titanic by now? What? I don't care that it's in 3D. That doesn't change the story. Fine... I can tell you're just going to ignore my pleas anyway.
Have a happy Easter weekend everyone!
I was never a fan and I'm not going.
ReplyDeleteNo need for Titanic in 3D except to make more money.
Otherwise, I'm just going to hold out until next week for The Cabin in the Woods.
I'm with you on waiting for Cabin in the Wood. That looks it's going to be fantastic.
DeleteIt makes me crazy with all the bullshit that Cameron gets away with. I just want to see someone kick him in the balls. All this 3D release will do is remind everyone just how crappy a writer he is. Do people forget just how crappy Billy Zane is in Titanic?
ReplyDeleteIn Zane's defense, it's a pretty lousy character to work with. Plus he does have one great line, "Rose is displeased... what to do?"
DeleteIn an unrelated note, I love that blogger now offers the ability to reply individually. Also, I think that may the first time in years I've said 'in an unrelated note' and not meant it ironically.
DeleteI didn't know that phrase could be said in a non-ironic fashion.
DeleteHere, allow me to make you all sad. My sister and I never saw Titanic in theaters, and we always felt we missed out on some great American experience. (My sister's ex-roommate saw the thing seven times.) So it's entirely possible that we'll see it at some point. Sorry. And since it will be 3D, we'll have a leg up on that American experience. Maybe we'll be considered cool now.
ReplyDeleteA single tear has rolled down my cheek. Mind you it wasn't mine, which is really weird. But I think that still counts.
DeleteGo enjoy Titanic. We all know I have a (somewhat) exaggerated hatred for James Cameron. Watching a ship get torn in half is still fun on a big screen. Spoiler though, the iceberg wins.
I've been a history geek my whole life so I actually liked Titanic a lot when it first came out (I had already read a bunch of books about the doomed ship before hand). That being said, I have no desire to watch Jack and Rose dance/smoke/eat dinner and look at each for 2 1/2 hours in 3D before the ship sinks and shit gets cool. no thanks.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about this grouping of movies. If anybody I know goes to see Titanic, I will lose much respect for them. Why not just flush the 15 or twenty bucks down the toilet instead and call it a day?
ReplyDelete