Naughty Or Nice List 2011 Part 2/2

5. Pat Robertson

Randy' Naughty List:

Because of you I have found a love for Mac & Cheese & black people. I kind of think you you actually belong on the nice list. What? I love me some Mac & Cheese & ethnicity.


TS's Nice List:

A great teacher of the bible, Pat Robertson has taught me a lot over the years. A couple years ago, I learned that it's okay to condone assassinations. Last year I learned that if you're a teenage girl trying to lose weight, you shouldn't ask God to help you stay strong and have willpower. You just need to get off the couch. This year however, Pat taught me that it's okay to divorce your wife if she has Alzheimer's, because that's a form of death. Thanks Pat, you truly are a great teacher.

4. Natural Disasters

Randy's Naughty List:

Do you remember that soda shop with that nice old Mr. Jenkins who always remembered your name? How about that place you went on your honeymoon, where you met that wonderful couple who showed you around? And there was that little spot, where you said you'd return to one day and reminisce. Remember your sweet grandmother? Well those places and people are all gone. Grandma? Dead. Natural disasters are naughty.


TS's Nice List:

Natural disasters take lives. So do cars, peanuts, and the Olsen Twins (unproved). But no one calls them evil. Okay, maybe the Olsens... But my point is, what about all the good things natural disasters bring to the table? Many businesses thrive because of them. Now, before you jump to the profiting-from-the-misery-of-others argument, consider grocery stores which profit from you being hungry. Natural disasters also bring out the best in humanity. It sucks that it often takes a catastrophe for us to wake up to the needs of others, but it's amazing what people can, and will do, to help their fellow man.

Oh, and where would we be without the tornado-porn that makes up 80% of The Weather Channel's programming?

3. The 25 Who Didn't Make The List

Randy's Naughty List:

So this year is a shorter list than the last and for a good reason. You Justin Biebers and Kardashians made it tooooo easy for me. All I have to do is say your name Herman Cain and people know, naughty. Amanda Knox, come on. And to have to explain why a tsunami, earthquake, or a nuclear meltdown it belongs on the naughty list is redundant. So to the 25 missing from the list this year, naughty.


TS's Nice List:

What can I say? I was busy this year. I didn't have the time to point out everyone's redeeming features. Couldn't take the time to explain why you were all misunderstood. Why it was okay for Hank Williams Jr. to compare Obama to Hitler (he has a weird vision problem where he sees taller black men as short, white, German dictators). Nor could spend even a few minutes detailing why Lindsey Lohan working in a morgue and her Playboy shoot were for good reasons (new career to disappear into and a reminder of someone people actually liked). But this is not your fault. Next year is a new opportunity to make the list. Another chance to show why you're all nice.

2. Steve Jobs

Randy's Naughty List:

We sat here content in our beautiful world. It was a wonderful time, listening to my CD on my personal CD player. Watching movies on my TV, playing games on my PC and taking calls on my cell phone. I didn't have a care in the world. Truly it was a heaven on earth. I still remember the day. Here is an apple, the man said, take of it and you will see and know things, with complete understanding. My sweet girlfriend to the side saying to me Try it. We will be all knowing and problem free. The bald man told me so. I now have an apple for you. Naughty.


TS's Nice List:

I suppose it would be easy to turn this into a eulogy. Problem is, my apple experience is limited. I grew up on a steady diet of PC. While not denying the impact Jobs had on the world, I'm just not the most qualified to speak to it. Sure, I've used Macs and iProducts. But not enough to be fanatic. That said I would like to thank Jobs for the hippo game. I remember when I was in kindergarten, there was an old apple computer in class with a hippo game. I loved that game. It was responsible for lighting a passion for computers in me. For that, I will always rate Jobs as nice.

Wait... that did turn into a eulogy. Crap.

1. Dead Celebrities in 2011

Randy's Naughty List:

Actually, I wrote a song to express how I feel and made a video to go with it, if that's alright.

TS's Nice List:

...yeah, like I'm going to try and follow that. Though for the record it's Francis Bay, not Francis Ray.


Special thanks to my brother Randy who wrote and recorded a song, while sick no less, just for the sake of this post. Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all found yourselves on the nice list this year.