Battle of the Landscapes – The Winner!

Here’s how it happened: Mountains came on strong, and hit Woods with a one two punch (whatever that means). Basically, it looked like Mountains might take this battle easily. Well, then Woods fans came out of the … Can’t…Not…Say…It … out of the woodwork. (Sorry, I resisted as best I could.) And then Woods took the lead. But Mountains aren’t quitters (or else they’d be hills) and they staged a comeback. At the end there were 14 votes. 6 for Mountains. 7 for Woods. And then this comment: “My pick is mountains to look at, woods to be in.” Now, our budget here at The Non-Review is roughly equivalent to the yearly earnings of a bubble gum machine, so the best lawyer we could afford to hire—to decipher who that comment was voting for—put down his beer long enough to tell us he had no idea. As appreciative as I was for his legal expertise, I soon realized that it didn’t matter, since even if Mountains got that vote, the battle would be tied. Then I’d have to be the tiebreaker, and, of course, I prefer Woods to Mountains (unless I’m being chased by killer squirrels who are afraid of heights). So, no matter how you look at it, the winner, and newly titled “The Greatest Landscape”, is…

Congratulations Woods! And thanks to all of you who voted throughout this big epic history-making battle. Once the casualties are carried off the battlefield, new grass is planted, and all weapons are licked clean, we will return for a new competition between whatever things our brains come up with. If you have any suggestions for a new battle, throw them our way.