7 Word Weekend Movie Review: The Mechanic, The Rite, and more non-news

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

The Mechanic - Alternative Title: Return of the shirtless one.

The Rite - Insert generic 'Rite is wrong' joke here:______

Seconds Apart (limited) - I remember when Orlando Jones was funny(ish).

I like Jason Statham movies, even if he does feel the need to take of his shirt every other scene. I'd call the films a guilty pleasure if I actually felt any guilt about watching them, but I don't. They're almost always light on the plot and heavy on the action, and sometimes that's all I want. So while The Mechanic isn't a theater watch for me, I will happily enjoy it on DVD. 

What can I say about The Rite? Anyone who's read this column long enough should have an idea as to how I feel about exorcism movies. They generally bore the heck out of me. Coincidentally, Anthony Hopkins who used to be an interesting actor has in the past decade or so, also bored the heck out of me. So seeing this movie seems to me like one of those damned if you do... and so I won't. Ah, to remember the sweet times when Hopkins spoke of retiring. I guess it was just a beautiful dream. 

And now for some more of that stale movie news you all love so much.

The talk has been Ron Howard wanting Christian Bale to play Roland in the upcoming adaptation of The Dark Tower series. On one hand I can see it. He looks the part. The character calls for a humorless gunslinger, and if there's one thing Bale can play it's humorless. If it's another thing grim. Sullen. Sorrowful. Dark. Dreary. Okay, I'll stop. But here's the thing, he's well known for taking a character and making it bend to his interpretation of what it should be instead of what anyone else would want. He also has a penchant for horrible accents. I've always felt that Roland, powerful a character as he is, should be played by an unknown actor. Let them grow the part.

Course I'm not too keen on the idea of Howard handling the property either. But then 'how much do I really care' is another question at this point. I loved the first four books in the series with a passion. I thought (and still think) it's some of the finest writing Stephen King has ever done. The last three books however were at best mixed, and at worst, the worst. As I've said before, it might have been better for the literary world if the van had finished him off (tasteless humor... nothing but the best for you fine people). Still I suppose I'm still enough of a fan of the novels to give it all the proper fanboy angst it deserves.

Well, I'm out. Have a great weekend everyone!