Yesterdays results are in and Ryan Reynolds has been put on the naughty list. Though from what I read, several of you were a tad liberal with the definition of that word. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean?
Now to today's installment.
14. Miley Cyrus (Singer, Actress)
TS - Nice:
She's had her low moments this year. She's been accused of doing things that would make a father blush with shame. But she's not her father and for that she will always be ahead in the game. Plus I hear it wasn't her anyway, it was that trashy Hannah Montana. Miley is nothing like that. And even if she were, she's certainly no Lindsey Lohan.
Randy - Naughty:
You got caught drinking, shot some racy pics, dated a few guys you shouldn't, partied a little hard, made some racist comments, and oh yeah, made friends with salvia when you hit that bong. I can excuse all of that but you took the train scene from Spiderman 2 and made it the end to your crappy Hannah Montana movie. Naughty!
Chad Hoxie - Tie Breaker:
Hey Miley, what's that? Do you want to try it? I've heard it can even make your music enjoyable. Naughty List for you.
TS - Nice:
Lindsey Lohan has been painted as a drunken, drugged out celeb with no morals; someone who has continually been in a downward spiral. But that's something that's needed in this celebrity obsessed society. Someone who you can point to your children as an example of what not to do. Someone had to take that six pack of bullets, and she stepped up.
Randy - Naughty:
Mmm, yes, my kind of naughty, you dirty girl. I think you need to go on the nice lis- she did what? Movie with who? The Sham Wow, "you're gonna love my nuts" guy?! Hell no. Naughty.
Corrupt Camel - Tie Breaker:
Oh how so many of us have played judge, jury, and executioner and labeled Lindsay Lohan naughty without even thinking it through. But the truth is, Lindsay just likes to party. When Cyndi Lauper sang, "Girls just wanna have fun," Lindsay listened. Anyone who thinks Lohan is naughty is, simply put, a party pooper. Embrace your inner-Lohan and realize that it's her naughtiness that makes her so appealing and, to many people's surprise, puts her on the Nice List.
12. Stephen Galiher (Friend, Entrepreneur)
TS - Nice:
He drives a car and I like his hat.
Randy - Naughty:
He punched me, threw me down a flight of stairs, keyed my truck and beat down my dog. He skinned my cat to make a furry wallet, set my church on fire while the choir practiced (23 dead). He sold my girlfriend to a frat, circumcised my goldfish, and painted whore on my front door. This was how he said good morning to me yesterday.
Chad Hoxie - Tie Breaker:
This devoted husband and father of 1 1/2 kids may seem like a nice guy, however if I were to see him in any metropolitan area, I would instinctively hand him a dollar, because he looks homeless. I would be more than willing to buy him a bottle of alcohol since he always has that look in his eyes that says "give it to me or I'll kill you and sleep with your dead cat whiskers." So this innocent, hobo-looking necrophiliac, belongs on the Naughty List.
11. Chad Hoxie (Friend, Entrée Manure)
TS - Nice:
I still can't believe all the things he's done to deserve being on the nice list. There was that time, he gave me a ride. Then there was the time he gave me a ride. Not to mention the time he gave both Randy and I a ride. Actually he did that a few times. He seems to like protecting people -noble- and getting paid for it -responsible. Oh, and his name is a country. Nice...
Randy - Naughty:
He walked over to this woman and asked, "What's wrong?" and implored her "Please don't cry." They had a few drinks and a few laughs. Then they left together. That's how you came to find Chad schtupping your mom in your bed. Next time clean your room and your mom won't cry.
Stephen Galiher - Tie Breaker:
I've known Chad for well over 10 years. We are each others oldest friends that we still hang out with regularly. I feel that I can say with indisputable certainty, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that Chad... belongs on the Naughty list. I've witnessed him commit acts that would make the cast of Con Air blush with embarrassment. Even now I shutter at the thought of... I can't say it. I need to call my therapist.
10. Santa Claus (Giver of presents, Violator of labor laws)
TS - Nice:
He brings presents to good boys and girls. When was the last time you brought toys to all the good girls and boys? Never you say? You haven't even brought toys to all the good boys and girls in China or a smaller country like Nauru? Well there you have it. I think you're nice, and he's doing loads more than you, so he must be nice.
Randy - Naughty:
One night a year he makes amends for the other 364 when he breaks into your house, steals your valuables, and knocks up your daughters. Oh, and he doesn't believe in Santa.
Brad Stanley - Tie Breaker:
Santa Claus is responsible for untold joy and happiness across the world. Every Christmas he delivers not only toys, but more importantly he is a constant source of goodness and light. Unfortunately, he signed Justin Bieber to his first record deal. Therefore, Santa is on the Naughty List.
TS - Nice:
The better Bosom Buddy to be sure. He may not be Tom Hanks, but he's put out a lot of good work. His role on Newhart? Classic. Honey I Shrunk the Kids? Amazing. He's a national treasure and not one that should be dishonored by anything less than the nice list.
Randy - Naughty:
Where in the hell have you been? Said you were going out for smokes like 10 years ago and never came back. Where did you go for those smokes, Ireland? You're still in our hearts, even if you left the dress behind.
Stephen Galiher - Tie Breaker:
Nice List for sure. Pete may not have had the same success as his cross-dressing "buddy", but go into any Church of Jebus worship service on a Sunday morning and you'll see the positive impact that he's had on spirituality. All praise the Holy Prophet of Jebus, Peter Scolari!
TS - Nice:
Voice like an angel, face like a... well, hey, she's beautiful on the inside, right? She represents a needed change that puts talent before appearance. I'd rather have a dozen Susan Boyles, than one more Christina Aguilera. Sing it sister *z-snap*
Randy - Naughty:
"You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down." Man Christina Aguilera is hot. I can't hardly look at you. I know some might say, you're beautiful on the inside, but that is because you are scary on the out. Naughty.
You - Tie breaker:
Time once again for you to decide. Does she belong on the Nice List or the Naughty?
give her the nice list, just because Walmart put its barcode over her face at the store where I saw (but did not purchase) her book. Her book was also placed right beside Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter, so that has got to be worth something.
ReplyDeletesusan boyle is def. on the nice list. its because when she came on stage & looked like she didn't care if she won or not, she just wanted to show she could do it, was awesome. when all the judges jaws dropped, i won't lie: i teared up a bit.
ReplyDeleteNice list because at the end of a really crappy day, I can say, at least I don't look like Susan Boyle. And that kids, is worth something.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the pick me up Susan.
Lorraine
I first want to say that I feel really bad for Randy. It's not easy to deal with someone circumcising your goldfish. I should know. The same thing happened to my oak tree. Let Randy know I'm here if he needs to talk.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Susan Boyle goes, I'm going to go ahead and say she should be on the nice list for not going postal on everyone in the media. Maybe she doesn't own an AK-47, but still, she could have at least beat many of them to death with their own microphones. But she didn't. Very nice.
Let's give her a break - nice list.
ReplyDeleteHow did you not give me Miley Cyrus. I'm heartbroken.
ReplyDeleteI have very little idea of who Susan Boyle is, but I hear she has the voice of an angel. I would assume that this is to make up for the fact that (I'm sorry, Susan, if you ever ready this, and I feel like a total bitch, but...) she's ugly as sin. I say this fine, upstanding lady deserves the Nice list.
ReplyDeleteThe Miley Cyrus dad line was fantastic - and true. My sister works with a girl with the last name cyrus, and this girl is some sort of accountant. She calls her billing ray cyrus. Not important, but I find it funny.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow - boyle I'll vote 'nice' though your bro's argument is a good one.
Well if Lindsey is nice then, I am the Queen of Sheba....Susan's voice quality is fab...she is proof that you don't have to rehash Victoria's Secrets modelling acts to be heard or sell records...for bringing back, a singer who only sings...Lady, its NICE for you ...
ReplyDeleteGoing to have to go with naughty.
ReplyDeleteThis is your largest project ever and I wasn't included? I am hurt, Sir. I can be as sarcastic as the next guy. Well maybe next year you can put me on the review list.
ReplyDeleteI draw the line at dragging PS into this. Hasn't he had enough shame living in the shadow of one Mr. Thomas Hanks? P.S. your friends look like they're from some Sarah Silverman movie.
ReplyDeleteSusan Boyle should get the nice list. (she can't have had an easy go of it; and she's still smiling - at least i think that's a smile)
ReplyDelete