Smith: Ah, yes, the new Nightmare film. Good movie.
Thomas: It wasn't a Nightmare film. It was a standalone film. No franchise.
Smith: ...Are you sure?
Thomas: You did watch it didn't you?
Smith: Of course. It was good, I just thought they were a little too skimpy on the Freddy Krueger parts. His humor is always the main draw of these movies. Otherwise it's just a bunch of kids dying and having bad dreams.
Thomas: You're being sarcastic aren't you?
Smith: Nope.
Thomas: Smith, it wasn't a Freddy movie.
Smith: Oh no?
Thomas: No, sorry.
Smith: What was the plot of the movie?
Thomas: A serial killer on the night he dies swears he will return to murder the children that were born on the night of his death. 16 years later one kid begins having nightmares and must try to save his friends.
Smith: I rest my case.
Thomas: Why do I even bother with you? Jeffrey, what'd you think?
Jeffrey: Not bad. Wes tried to work in a coming of age tale, but it's hard to take it seriously with 3D splatter flying at you.
Thomas: Would you say it was a return for the once great horror master?
Jeffrey: Keep in mind, I'm one of the few who actually liked 'Cursed'. I thought it was a good film. It's still very mainstream though. Craven is a great film maker who puts together entertaining flicks, but he's really not ever going to touch on the true horror he made back when he was first starting out.
Smith: What are you doing?
Jeffrey: What do you mean? I'm reviewing a movie.
Smith: We agreed we were going to play a joke on Thomas by pretending it was another Nightmare.
Jeffrey: ...No, sorry, not ringing any bells. Thomas, what did you think of the acting?
Thomas: A bit mixed, though I thought Max Thieriot was great in the lead.
Smith: I'll ring your bell! The only reason I was doing it was because you said it would be funny.
Jeffrey: You thought that was funny? I thought it was kind of lame.
Thomas: A very weak joke at best Smith. I must have heard the same thing a dozen times at the screening. They're really very different films.
Smith: I know that! Jeffrey talked me into doing it. He said it would be funny if we both annoyed you with that stupid joke.
Thomas: Jeffrey, what is he on about?
Jeffrey: What is Smith ever on about? So you didn't like Emily Meade's performance?
Thomas: She was okay, but nothing special.
Smith: Why did you talk me into it if you weren't going to play along?
Jeffrey: Geez you have a one track mind. Don't you think the people might be a little more interested in hearing our thoughts on the movie and not on some conspiracy theory?
Smith: You know what, I'm not going to do this. I've been reading a lot of self help books lately and I've really turned over a leaf in life, er, death. Yes, let's talk about the film.
Thomas: Well this is a nice change. Now then, what-
Jeffrey: I totally set you up and it was awesome.
Smith: You bastard! I'm going to kill you!
Thomas: On that note I suppose it's best that we close. For myself I found the movie to be entertaining but little more. Wes Craven 3.0 will never be as good as the original but he still knows how to make a good popcorn film. The acting is the typical mixed bag one finds in a teen horror fest. The story is alright but a bit jumbled in places as it tries to be too many things at once. Still, for a Halloween season release it's not a bad watch. Any other season though and I'd suggest waiting for video. Anything you guys want to add?
Jeffrey: Now, now Smith, remember what your self help books have taught you.
YES!!!! THIS IS THE BEST SERIES!!!! I LOVE THESE GUYS!!!! And wow. Surprisingly insightful when it comes to the horror genre.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. Kudos my friend. I'm almost certain you should be writing comedy movies or TV, your dialogue is great.
ReplyDeleteAnother great bit Tim! You are a comedy genius...
ReplyDeleteI'll wait for the DVD...
they taught me I can kill you myself. bahaa
ReplyDeleteI still don't like horror flicks
Now THAT was entertainment!
ReplyDeleteIs there some reason you're not getting PAID to do this stuff?!! You rock!
ReplyDeleteI've seen comedic duos, but never a threesome. Very wicked and witty banter. - G
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know what people in the theater were more scared by. The Wes Craven movie, or having three shrunken heads in the audience?
ReplyDeleteI am betting what I just read was better than the movie and still let me get up for a drink!
ReplyDeleteI told jeffrey to do that. It was all my idea. Stop taking credit for my ideas.
ReplyDeleteSmith is always so misunderstood, poor chap
ReplyDelete