New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (limited) - I don't understand why Josh Brolin is.
Buried (limited, wide Oct. 8) - For extra fun, take a claustrophobic friend!
FrICTION (limited) - Dumb name but it could be good.
Howl (limited) - From stoner to Ginsberg, Franco's that good.
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole - I'm told the book series is "Beloved".
You Again - Curtis and Weaver? This is my thesis!
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Seriously, what does that title even mean?
Money is inanimate. Wall street has hours that you can trade within. Seems to me that if it were capable of thought, money would sleep. Question, were you people really crying out for a sequel to Wall Street? I know it wasn't me, so it had to be some of you. Come now, I promise no one will judge you. Confession is good for the something or other.
For some reason I've always thought of Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver as the same person. I don't mean that I mix them up or anything. There are just certain actors and actresses that I equate as the same. For me those two have always been interchangeable in my mixed up head. Now regarding the movie... I'd spit on it but there may be ladies present and Pecos Bill taught me that would be a violation of the laws of the west.
Buried. Anyone want to see Ryan Reynolds in a box for an hour and a half? Yeah, I kind of do. I know there's little chance of there being any fantasy in it, but I can't help but hope that when he emerges from his coffin he'll have magical powers like David Blaine. Speaking of which, Blaine and his respective other are expecting a child. I can't wait for the TV special where he helps with the delivery.
Is this your card? No? Look in your back pocket. That's my baby.
Owl Movie. I refuse to retype or even expel any extra energy copy and pasting that title. Yes I am also painfully aware of the irony in writing that sentence. Worth it. Directed by Zach Snider and packed with a heck of a cast. I'd never heard of the books before I read the description for the movie. Course I don't have any children so that may play into it. I know a lot of people are in love with Snider. I thought 300 was okay and Watchmen... well my feelings are very mixed on that. At any rate I haven't been convinced yet to see a movie on his name alone. If anyone does see the film let me know if it's any good.
On the staying in front, I recently watched The Joneses. David Duchovny and Demi Moore are employees of
a marketing company that places fake families in upper class neighborhoods as a way of introducing the latest clothes, home decor, toys etc. to the masses and increasing sales through a ripple effect. It's an interesting idea that makes for an interesting film. While it doesn't quite run on all cylinders I found it largely enjoyable. My biggest compliant would be that I would have liked to have seen the family chemistry work a little better. There is also an attempt at making a point about materialistic values in our culture, but it's mostly half hearted and feels as shallow as the lifestyles the Joneses are trying to sell. Still it has some very funny moments and the writing is pretty good (if a little uneven). I found it to be entertaining and worth at least a glance. 7 out of 10
That's it for me this week. Have a great weekend everyone!
For some reason I've always thought of Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver as the same person. I don't mean that I mix them up or anything. There are just certain actors and actresses that I equate as the same. For me those two have always been interchangeable in my mixed up head. Now regarding the movie... I'd spit on it but there may be ladies present and Pecos Bill taught me that would be a violation of the laws of the west.
Buried. Anyone want to see Ryan Reynolds in a box for an hour and a half? Yeah, I kind of do. I know there's little chance of there being any fantasy in it, but I can't help but hope that when he emerges from his coffin he'll have magical powers like David Blaine. Speaking of which, Blaine and his respective other are expecting a child. I can't wait for the TV special where he helps with the delivery.
Is this your card? No? Look in your back pocket. That's my baby.
Owl Movie. I refuse to retype or even expel any extra energy copy and pasting that title. Yes I am also painfully aware of the irony in writing that sentence. Worth it. Directed by Zach Snider and packed with a heck of a cast. I'd never heard of the books before I read the description for the movie. Course I don't have any children so that may play into it. I know a lot of people are in love with Snider. I thought 300 was okay and Watchmen... well my feelings are very mixed on that. At any rate I haven't been convinced yet to see a movie on his name alone. If anyone does see the film let me know if it's any good.
On the staying in front, I recently watched The Joneses. David Duchovny and Demi Moore are employees of a marketing company that places fake families in upper class neighborhoods as a way of introducing the latest clothes, home decor, toys etc. to the masses and increasing sales through a ripple effect. It's an interesting idea that makes for an interesting film. While it doesn't quite run on all cylinders I found it largely enjoyable. My biggest compliant would be that I would have liked to have seen the family chemistry work a little better. There is also an attempt at making a point about materialistic values in our culture, but it's mostly half hearted and feels as shallow as the lifestyles the Joneses are trying to sell. Still it has some very funny moments and the writing is pretty good (if a little uneven). I found it to be entertaining and worth at least a glance. 7 out of 10That's it for me this week. Have a great weekend everyone!
The "Owl Movie" looks ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, I kinda agree with you about Curtis and Weaver. I have a major lesbian crush on both of them. Weaver in "Aliens" *drool* and Curtis in "Halloween" and "A Fish Named Wanda" are right up my alley. Don't think I'll see the movie though.
As for Reynolds in a box? Hell yeah I wanna see that. I think Ryan Reynolds is a total tool. He just reeks of "douchey-ness" IMO and seeing him suffer in a confined, oxygen-deprived box for 90min is somehow appealing to me. If I see it at all, it'll be to laugh at his pain.
Can't stand when they come out with a sequel 20ish years later. Why? It's a great stand alone movie. Leave it alone. That being said I'll probably catch it on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteThe book series is called Gaurdians of Gahool, or Gabagul as I call it in my household. My 9year old has read the first two books and really liked them. I may be seeing this one in the very near future.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the review, TS. I gotta get out to the movies soon!
ReplyDeleteNo no! There is a difference. Jamie Lee Curtis was (and still is) hot.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will be seeing said owl film. How could I say no when my wife proclaimed "I want to see the stupid owl movie!!" Yeah, so, off I go here soon...
Take a claustrophobic friend!!! I'm splittin' a gut here!!!! That was funny!!!
ReplyDeleteI really want to see YOU AGAIN, but will probably wait for it to come out in DVD (like I usually do) because I can't stand chair kickers, obnoxious teenagers who text during the whole movie and worse, the ones who won't shut up for two seconds.
Dreamy?
ReplyDeleteJust a guess as to what you would have said, had you been given an 8th word to use about Brolin.
So that movie about the Joneses actually sounds like a neat idea. I think I'll look into that one. Did you know that does happen? Maybe not to that degree, but homes are being staged not only with furniture but with people as well. Empty houses don't sell well and the tenant gets free (or cheap) luxury digs.
I'm with Marlene... that was hilarious... and I am claustrophobic.
Cotton, Not dreamy. I didn't require an 8th word. I was questioning why he exists. I'm not what you'd call "a fan."
ReplyDeleteAwesome David Blaine line.
ReplyDeleteIronic movie with Duchovney (considered him for a review? done him for a review? i don't remember if so) ... because it's a BIG FILM which has a half-hearted message about materialism. Nevertheless, I dig the guy and may have to look into it.
Awesome as per usual.
Wouldnt be caught dead in theaters this weekend
ReplyDeleteNo, I know TS, and it was really funny... I had to read the sentence twice just to be sure, but then I laughed and laughed. And honestly, I had to look the guy up before I wrote that. I had NO idea who he was and didn't want to say dreamy if he was another Steve Buscemi.
ReplyDeleteCotton, But Dreamy Buscemi has a nice ring to it you have to admit.
ReplyDeleteAnd hence forth he shall be dubbed... if only to you and me.
ReplyDelete@Brad Stanley, The image of David Blaine in a delivery room is a hoot... only TS!
My kids are foaming at the mouth to see the owl movie. They have both read it and said it was the best book eva'. (They have put many years of research into this!! HA)
ReplyDeleteThe Joneses does sound interesting..
Have a great weekend TS!! Thanks for the reviews!!
Call I call Buscemi Dreamy also? I want to be smart like you hip kids, TS and Cotton Blossom (which sounds like a country music group)I imagine you guys dressing like hillbillies and doing old school twang. Okay, I will confess that I just want to see Cotton in a sundress...and TS too to be totally honest.
ReplyDeleteCal, by all means call him Buscemi Dreamy, but why do I have to wear a sundress?
ReplyDeleteI totally want to get hired as the Joneses!
ReplyDeleteBTW, while on holidays we went to see The Town and Inception. One was a headscratcher and the other was a waste of 2 hours. Not even half priced Tuesday could save it. I'll let you guess which one I am referring to. - G
Am I flattered that you want to see me in a sundress,Cal? Or am I afraid, very, very afraid?
ReplyDeleteAnd Cal, I'm wondering why a sundress in a cave? Or were you going to come out of the cave of cool to see TS in a dress?
ReplyDeleteCotton, no need for fear. Your name isn't Selena, and you don't have red hair. Cal is therefore harmless.
Oh, and TS, thanks for the reviews. But I was left wondering, is it legal to shoot owls? No plans. Just curious if there's a hunting law against it. If not, do you own a gun?
ReplyDeletehahaha.
ReplyDeletei too am confused as to what that wall street's movie title actually means.
wonderful.
Rep - what have you gotten against sundresses? Exactly? And what are you saying TS? You too good not to wear sundresses? You forget your roots buddy. And CB, I ask you to wear the sundress because you refuse to wear the Batgirl outfit that I got you. You said on my blog that you wanted to be there when you made someone else cry? Well welcome to MY tears.
ReplyDeleteRep just turned me into a two-trick pony with his hurtful words - "Cotton, no need for fear. Your name isn't Selena, and you don't have red hair. Cal is therefore harmless."
ReplyDeleteI also caption kitties, post movie and TV reviews and rant about Pop Tarts. The NON harmless side of Pop Tart. I ain`t afraid to fight the 'Man's Truth'
How dare you reduce me to a joke, Sir. If I think you would show up it would be pistols at dawn. In the place of a duel you are banned from the Cave of Cool and subsequent Kal produced projects and commentaries for one full year.
After that year you may send an essay about what you have learned in your time away and you may be full reinstated but I woudn't count of that. We have had to be quite strict with people lately.
Do you remember 'Vancouver Mark' - well you shouldn't because for the next 5 months he remains dead to me. And now so do you, starting...NOW
Dear Al with a K sometimes a C,
ReplyDeleteYou seemed to loose focus there for a minute and make this whole charade about you. Let me assure you... it is not. Now let's get back to ME and the dueling pistols at dawn thing. Even though you and Rep may believe that a red-headed maiden named Selena is worth dueling over, my ego would like to take this opportunity to announce that between the ages of two weeks and three years, my hair was in fact... red.
PS) TS is "this close" to asking us if we have something to share with the rest of the class.
First of all Ms. Cotton (I'll get to Ckal in a minute) Selena is not red-headed. Nor would I duel over her. (Mostly out of fear that Ckal would turn on a berserker rage and tear me to sheds.) But I'm glad to hear that you had red hair for exactly 2 years and 50 weeks. My head was only red for a week and a half, but that had more to do with a peroxide prank at the beach.
ReplyDeleteBut now on to the Honorable Ckal. My intention was not to turn you into a 2-trick mule, or whatever. I only meant to turn you into a 2-trick donkey when it comes to women. See? Takes some of the sting out, don't it?
Nevertheless, a duel sounds just dandy. However, could we make it more of a mid-morning affair, rather than dawn? I'm not a big morning person, and I think a nice shower and shave would improve my aim.
However, the sting of a bullet through my ankle (I'm assuming you're not a good shot) would sting much less than the pain of being banned from the Cave of Cool. Could we perhaps negotiate some sort of arrangement that is not so harsh? A appreciate your understanding in this matter.
WHAT? Selena isn't red headed?
ReplyDeleteWhooooooosh (The wind being let out of my sails.)
We can duel two days now so that the lovel and sarcastic CB is not offended. Like a rare orchid we cannnot allowher to be exposed to unfiltered green house air. I also here that if you vary her humidity by twenty or so degrees that she durns into a murdeous dragon. Or are those stories just urban legends?
ReplyDelete