Middle Tennessee Summer Fashion Tips

With the all the heat waves that have been sweeping through the country, it's clear that summer came with a vengeance this year. Now there are any number of ways of enjoying the bountiful sunshine but the question is: What to wear? Whether you live in the north or the south, the east or the northwest it's always important to stand out. So with that in mind I'm here to provide you with some fashion tips I've picked up since moving to Tennessee.

It's all about the accessories.

Choosing the right accessories to compliment an outfit can be difficult. For instance, if you're a man in your late 30's, wearing short shorts and a wife beater, should you carry a beer or a pack of cigarettes? You can't just walk into any old local convenience store to pick up a copy of Guns & Cows monthly without looking the part.

Here are some neat ways to accessorize:

• What you don't take is just as important. Leave those shoes at home!
• Small children make excellent can holders
• Gold chains will burn a neck under a hot sun. That just proves you're a man.
• Women, don't take a purse, there are plenty of places on the body to carry cash and cards.
• Strange-guy-always-walking-but-never-going-anywhere, don't forget you half empty plastic bag.

The next thing to look at is the actual ensemble. Accessories only help so much. You have to set the tone with something striking. But just as there are key things to remember when choosing accessories there are even more when it comes to putting an outfit together.

Some things to remember:

• Skin cancer is sexy. Nothing says this more than walking out the door with no shoes, no shirt and no apologies.
• The amount of skin to show should be directly proportionate to how attractive and how much you weigh. The less attractive and the more you weigh, the less you should put on.
• Tube top or not tube top is not the question. The question is how small of a tube top can you squeeze into?
• If you're a guy, remember not to shower for several days. The layer of silt that collects on you will look like a shirt when you're not wearing one.
• Sock with flip flops and tennis shoes are no-no's. When in doubt, skip the footwear and just go out in socks.
• If you don't have any stained white tee shirts, what are you waiting for? Get to staining.

I hope these tips will help you out when choosing an outfit of your own. So the next time you show up at a party wearing a powder blue sleeveless shirt, tennis shoes with no socks and a small child on your hip who's carrying your beer, don't be surprised if everyone stares. Sheer jealousy at such a trendy dresser.