ON YOUR LEFT you will see a wide variety of animals. Due to those legal restrictions mentioned earlier, we cannot actually list the animals, as there are many jealous farmers who would love to learn the secrets to Old MacDonald’s very successful farm. But what we can tell you is that right here next to the bus we can clearly hear a moo-moo, and a little farther over there we can make out a quack-quack. If you listen closely you can also hear a neigh-neigh and a bah-bah. And there is a very distinct oink-oink coming from just about everywhere. But that’s all we can tell you for now, so let’s move along.
ON YOUR RIGHT you can see Old MacDonald’s son sitting on an overturned bucket talking to himself. He is staring at the ground, and appears to be concentrating very hard. Let’s listen in … “E, no wait, I, no. Man these vowels are hard! Okay deep breath … alright, from the top, E, I—no, something is not right. Let’s see, uh … E, I, O … oh, forget it.” Oops, it looks like he’s spotted us. He doesn’t seem happy that we were eaves-dropping. Whoa, he just grabbed a pitch fork. Maybe we should get out of here. Let’s continue on.
STRAIGHT AHEAD you will see the MacDonald Barn. It gets its red color from— Can you all hear me okay? It’s awfully noisy here. No wonder his son can’t concentrate. With all the meow-meows and bark-barks, it’s almost impossible to hear yourself think. So, I’m sorry to have to do this, but I’m going to have to cut our tour short. I have a splitting headache. I’ve never been on such a noisy farm.
Well, we hope you enjoyed our exclusive tour. Aspirin is available in the gift shop. And if you decide to come back a little later in the season, it should be a lot quieter, for reasons we will not go into right now. Thanks for visiting.
I'm still waiting to see where the barn gets its red color....is it nail polish? Blood? Reflection from a fiery sunset??
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered if Old MacDonald sells meat to McDonalds...
ReplyDeleteLove the tour, but more concerned about you. How's everything going with the apartment?
ReplyDeleteAre you still above the waterline?
ReplyDeletehope so!
so why is the barn red?
Hey everybody. I've been standing in for TS on the last two posts (at his request) and I'm not sure when he'll be able to get back here. I know he really wants to, but there is so much going on for him right now, obviously. But as a quick update for everyone who is concerned: His apartment was pretty much ruined, with around five feet of water and a lot of mud. He is staying with someone else for now, and will probably have to look for a new place. I'll keep you updated as much as I can. Right now everything is just kind of surreal for him, and he's going to have a rough time getting his life back to normal. Thank you all for your concern. I know he really appreciates the support.
ReplyDeleteVery clever post....loved it! Hope the dude finds a new apartment soon. Sounds like a real mess. :(
ReplyDeleteYou didn't tell me where the llamas were because I go to NO farm without knowing where the llamas are. They always plot against us and gossip and get all the other animals riled up. They are a menace. A farm born menace. Llamas and octopus. That's all I hate.
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered what Old McDonald had against A and U and sometimes Y....
ReplyDeleteIs there any chance that TS may have had renter's insurance? If not, I may have a couple of bucks laying around to donate to help his cause....
You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteFrom your list of animals noises I have determined the animals on the farm: rabbits, oysters, vampires, toasters, penguins and chia pets
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part is how ambiguous the animal shapes are in the picture, particularly the ostriches.. I think?
ReplyDelete