Battle of the Mascots: The First Vote

It is now time for the Non-Review to wage a new battle. And this time TS Hendrik was not aware ahead of time, what I would throw into combat. So I do hope that he does not mind a bit of carnage, because for this fight, instead of inanimate objects (like planets and shapes), I have chosen to let loose Holiday Mascots upon one another. No one necessarily wants to see the Easter Bunny punching on Santa, but someone has to do it, and we here at the Non-Review do not back down merely because of unpleasantness. But why Holiday Mascots? Well, to be honest, the seven dwarfs were booked, and the Easter Bunny ticked us off just recently (it’s a long story), so the choice seemed clear. And ever since Coca-Cola essentially invented the official mascot image of Santa Claus in the 1930’s, the issue of greatest holiday representative has needed to be settled. And so today we begin. The battlefield is clear for our first two combatants:

St. Patrick’s Day’s  

LEPRECHAUN
VS.
Halloween’s  

JACK-O-LANTERN

He is known well for his high spirits, incessant limericks, and a tendency to horde clovers. (The DEA is suspicious of that one.) Due to his almost perpetual state of intoxication, Leppy (as his friends call him) no longer remembers exactly who St. Patrick was, but that doesn’t deter him from making toasts in his honor with multiple rounds of ale. He’s also had an on-and-off relationship with the Tooth Fairy. However, her bitterness over not having her own holiday, causes friction in their relationship.

 

 

Contrary to popular belief, a Jack-O-Lantern is not necessarily always male—in the same way that a ladybug is not always female. (They have both suffered from bad PR campaigns I’m afraid.) Jack finds a somewhat sick enjoyment in frightening small children, but feels as though he makes up for it by giving them candy. He also had a close relationship once, with a pineapple, but there was too much confrontation over whether their kids would be raised as vegetables or fruits. So it eventually ended.

Now before this battle began, Leppy originally refused to fight Jack, thinking he was a fellow Irishman. Leppy had jumped to that conclusion before seeing Jack’s name written down, and had thought it was “Jack O’Lantern.” We assured him this was not the case, at which point he immediately put down his beer and started swinging. So this battle should be a good one. And it is now time for you to decide who you think is The Greatest Holiday Mascot. Give us your vote, by leaving a comment, to decide who wins this round. The voting for this round will end on Tuesday, at which point two new Mascots will take the field.