Dear Ollie Mr. Fluffers
Last week I tried speed dating as I was told it was a good way to improve your chances of finding Miss Right. I've always been shy, and I guess I didn't leave a lasting impression, because no one picked me afterwards. I've been in a dating drought that's lasted my whole life. I'm not sure what it is about me, but it just seems to drive women away in the opposite direction. I'm not fat and I don't I'm ugly. I've always been pretty bright, and friends tell me I'm funny. So why can't I get a date?
Sincerely,
Hannibal Electer
Dear Hannibal,
Just a thought, but I'm going to have to guess it has something to do with your name. What with it sounding remarkably similar to the Silence of the Lambs villain. Might I suggest a change to maybe George or Sam. Perhaps you could see yourself as a Reginald or a- a, uh... I gotta go, that strange round circle of light is moving wildly across the floor again. I think I can catch it this time.
Sincerely,
Mr. Fluffers
LOL Hannibal Elector. Sounds like a face eating voting machine. Could be a good horror movie.
ReplyDeleteMy Thoughts
Yeah, could be an amazing horror movie! Scaring.
ReplyDeleteBetty
Very funny, TS!
ReplyDeleteLOL..."Ask a kitten."
ReplyDeleteI can always rely on you to give me some laughs...
He has a fork in a gun holster. Wacky man...pure wacky. My kitty won't follow the light. We think he may be blind in one eye.
ReplyDeleteAw, that's sad. I had a cat once that had seizures. Kitty suffering is not cool.
ReplyDeleteThe fork is there so that he can eat the octopus.
Hehehehe...you are a creative genius. This might just be my new favorite non writing blog!
ReplyDeleteJust plain Harry would work too.
ReplyDeleteHow about changing your name to Toonses...you could be named after a famous cat that used to drive a car on Saturday Night Live.
ReplyDeleteI remember him...
ReplyDelete"Toonses" "the cat who could drive!"
Oh he could drive, he just couldn't drive very well.
ReplyDeleteHey wait, I just commented on Cal's Toonces The Driving Cat :) Loved that SNL skit!
ReplyDeleteTales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
I think I may have met Hannibal...x
ReplyDeleteOh Hannibal Electer is not such a bad name. I'm sure if he lets his personality shine then the women will come a-runnin, or my name isn't Charlie Mansome.
ReplyDeleteVery funny, TS! I always say you can trust a kitten because it only speaks the truth! Great job!
Hahaha! He had to go and chase the light!! Heehee. So funny.
ReplyDeleteAlso, would recommend proofreading in advance, "I don't think I'm ugly" is dramatically different than "I don't I'm ugly"
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