Non-Review: The Crazies - Reviewed by Sister Anna Lucile

It's no secret that I'm a fan of George A. Romero. Here in the convent I'm alone in my love of his genius. It's something I have been ostracized for. Sister Brigitta for instance. She argues that all of his movies basically have the same hopeless ending. But then she's obsessed with Japanese horror movies. And I don't mean the good ones either.

At any rate when I was asked to preview a remake of the 1973 film, The Crazies, I stepped away from the Masters of Horror puzzle I was working on, and put on my going out shawl. I warned the nice man who drove me that I would be a harsh judge. I love the absolute brilliance of the original, with it's subtext about the military and abuse of power. It seemed like the kind of story that could easily be adapted to current times.

The movie opened with more of a light touch than I would have expected. It really takes the time to build the plot before all hell breaks loose. Timothy Olyphant seemed an odd choice to fill the shoes left by Will MacMillan, as I've always found Olyphant to be a bit of a prick. However he does a perfunctory job. Radha Hill however in the role of Judy, I would like to give a good slap. Though to be fair that probably had more to do with the character.

Now you know I'm all about the violence. The bloodier the picture the better. This is where the film let me down. After building a nice base for the horror, it quickly shifts gears away from the original by changing tempo. In the original there was creepiness from some of the bizarre behavior the crazies exhibit as they're slowly succumbing. Here everything is exaggerated to a point of unreality. I like my horror believable. In many ways this reminded me more of a Stephen King riff on a Romero film, than a straight remake.

I will say this, there was plenty of blood. The stories I brought back to the convent made several of the sisters want to see the film. You know what this film did though? It reminded me how much I miss the gratuitous blood on the camera lens shot that used to be in every horror film for awhile.

Over all the film is an ok movie, but doesn't really deserve to be in the same category as the original. I can't see it making itself into my 'Favorite Horrors' quilt I've been sewing on for the past 20 years. If I were you I'd wait for video.

The Crazies: 4 out of 10